This Person

This person probably thinks that I am a gold-digger. Or at least it’s me who think that this person thinks I’m a gold-digger.

In fact, I’m now trying to return this person's favor.

So this person had helped me for couple times. This person bought me something I really wanted. And this person paid the bill when we had dinner together.

All I could do was saying thanks. This person said ‘selow’, ‘my treat’, ‘it’s for you’, and other things like that. This person said I should not mind, but how could I not put myself so much in debt with this person.

Later on, I tried to meet this person. I went to pasfes and brought along this person's book I borrowed years ago and a little something from my hometown. I invited this person for movie after work without any intention or expectation that this person would pay for the tickets. Because it was the other way around. I would pay for them to let go of this bad feeling for being so dependent on this person. But this person said, ‘Nah, I don’t think I can.’

In the end, it is indeed not only about money. But this is really a confusing kind of friendship.

And now I don’t even have the nerve to text this person first. I'm afraid that this person would think I’m lingered or something. We used to have exciting chats though. But no, I won’t risk making any false and negative image anymore. If this is going to end this way, then let it be. Bodo amat dah ah…

The only thing I wish for right now is that we could meet one last time. I want to make it balance. It’s either for the sake of this bizarre friendship, or my gold-digger image in his eyes, or at least for this imaginary-debt-feeling that I have right now. One last time. Before this person goes on his life, and I live mine.